


Strung Together

by LadyCosmos



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Episode 9 spoilers, M/M, NSFW, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2232996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCosmos/pseuds/LadyCosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three missing scenes from Episode 9.  Haru and Makoto try to deal with their insecurities about the future alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strung Together

**Author's Note:**

> Written for tumblr user [shotas](http://shotas.tumblr.com). She wanted three missing scenes from episode 9: a pre-shower sex scene, Haru crawling into Makoto's bed post-nightmare, and Makoto hugging Haru after his breakdown.
> 
> I wanted this to be happy but it came out angsty because Haru just wanted to be that way. The ending lost a bit of focus and came out a bit rushed so I apologize.
> 
> Comments are eagerly accepted and wanted.

Makoto smiled awkwardly as he shut the hotel room door and dropped his bag. Haru stood in the middle of the room, bag still hanging from his shoulder, staring out the window before him. Something in the way Haru looked so separate and disconnected pulled at Makoto’s stomach and made him reach out to grab him.

Pulling his hand back to his chest, Makoto bent to pick up his bag and enter the room.

“We’re all by ourselves again. I’m feeling as nervous as last time.” Carefully, Makoto maneuvered around Haru. His tongue felt thick as Haru continued to stare out the window. “I hope Rei doesn’t go wandering off in the middle of the night this time. I was so worri—“

“Makoto.” Haru’s voice sounded so small and desperate Makoto thought he would break. Plastering a bright smile on his face, Makoto turned to his friend.

“What is it, Haru?” With no warning, Haru dropped his bag and pushed Makoto backwards until he fell across the bed. Haru’s mouth was hot and insistent; his tongue forced its way through Makoto’s lips, moving roughly against his. The way Haru’s hands fumbled with Makoto’s pants, tangling in his shirt in the process, the small fractured noises getting stuck in Haru’s throat made Makoto want to cry.

He wanted to gather Haru in his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. He understood Haru was scared and frustrated but he would never, ever let anything happen to Haru. More than anything, Makoto wanted to smash through the wall Haru was building around himself and scream that Haru was worth more than his swimming; that his swimming was beautiful but it didn’t define Haru.

Instead, Makoto rolled them over and gently cusped Haru’s cheek and broke their kiss. There was a darkness in his eyes and Makoto hated. It reminded him of days spent pulling Haru out of the tub and finding excuses to get him out of the house. He hated that darkness.

“Haru?” While a very large part of Makoto wanted to continue and lose himself in Haru, a small but loud portion of him told him this wasn’t right. This wasn’t Haru and this wasn’t what he needed. But when Haru’s hands grasped his shirt and pulled him close and Makoto could feel him trembling and hear the vulnerability in his voice, Makoto knew he was lost.

“I need you, Makoto.” Makoto could never refuse Haru.

Gently, hoping to convey all the love and admiration and desire he felt for Haru, Makoto pressed their lips together and let his fingers roam over his friend’s body. Much more quickly than he had wanted, Haru stripped them both and was kissing his way down Makoto’s stomach.

It was much too fast. It was too desperate; too distressed and too emotionless. It was Haru taking from someone what he wanted, proving he had control.

“Haru.” Makoto moaned, reaching down to stroke his hair or cheek or just touch him.

With no warning, Haru yanked Makoto’s pants off and quickly wrapped his lips around Makoto’s half-hard dick. It wasn’t what Makoto wanted but he knew this was what Haru needed. Panting, Makoto grabbed the sheets and forced himself not to reach out and touch Haru. To wait until Haru came to him.

The burn of the first finger caught Makoto off guard. His breath caught in his chest and made his cough roughly. For a moment, Haru slowed and watched Makoto carefully, waiting for a sign to continue or stop. After catching his breath, Makoto smiled down at his friend and let his body relax. The second finger didn’t catch him off guard and by the time the third entered, he was moaning and reaching for his now weeping erection. When Haru entered him, Makoto sighed with relief and reached for Haru’s hand.

Perfectly, their fingers threaded together as Haru started rocking slowly into Makoto. Watching Haru getting swept away in pleasure always made Makoto happy. It filled him with joy to know he could bring Haru such satisfaction. The way Haru’s eyes darkened as they focused on Makoto’s face, drinking in every expression, lingering on the way he licked and bit at his lips when Haru thrust just right. He wanted to wash away all the pressure, all the negativity, and see Haru _smile_ again.

Haru’s thrusts became deeper and harder, pushing Makoto into the mattress as his fingers dug into Makoto’s hips. It was painful but so good. Makoto bit his hand to keep from moaning too loud when Haru’s fingers brushed against his erection, fondling his tip until Makoto’s world streaked with lightning and warmth spread up his spine. Haru’s cries mixed with his and he could feel Haru twitching inside of him, trying to push deeper with his last bit of strength.

As they lay tangled on the bed, Makoto reached out to gently stroke his friend’s hair and back. For a moment, Haru relaxed and curled into the touch. For a moment, Makoto thought everything was okay. Then Haru was out of his arms and off the bed, nearly running for the shower.

“I won’t be long. I promise.”

Lying on the bed, Makoto listened to the water beat against the shower stall and bit back his tears.

Everything was going to be okay.

+++

His heart was pounding so hard Haru thought his chest was going to explode. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he had to repeat to himself over and over: _only a dream it was only a dream_. But it had felt so real and he couldn’t be sure he wasn’t already in a nightmare.

Everything felt wet and cold. His hair was dripping with sweat; his shirt and sheets were soaked. It felt as if he had swum through the ocean. His limbs felt as heavy as lead and his eyes burned as he sat up, trying to calm his racing heart. Every breathe felt like ice squeezing down his chest as he tried to tell himself that there was nothing in the darkness to hurt him.

Wiping the sweat off his face, Haru turned to look for Makoto, seek something stable and comfortable to hold on to. A soft moan escaped Makoto’s lips as he shifted in his sleep, hand curling towards Haru in a familiar gesture. It helped soothe Haru’s mind but he still felt agitated.

Quietly, he climbed out of bed and tiptoed towards the bathroom. Wincing at how loud the water sounded in the dead of night, Haru peeked out the door to make sure he hadn’t woken Makoto. His friend was still sound asleep, his chest rising regularly beneath the sheets and Haru breathed a sigh of relief as the bathroom door clicked shut.

Steam rose in waves from the sink, covering the mirror and making it difficult to breathe. Hands still shaking, Haru splashed water on his face, rejoicing in the slight burning sensation. It made him feel alive and whole and somehow in control.

As the water cooled on his skin, Haru noticed his heart rate had gone back to normal and the tremors had stopped wracking his body. Slowly, unwillingly, Haru turned off the water and stared at himself in the mirror. The fog distorted his reflection, giving him only bits and pieces of the whole. He wondered if this was how people saw him; as all the different pieces that fit together and made him instead of the completed picture.

Angry, frustrated and trapped, Haru smeared the foggy picture until water streaked down the mirror. Suddenly exhausted, he wanted nothing more than to return to Iwatobi and pretend nothing had changed. But as he slipped back under his covers, Haru knew there was no going back.

As he lay in bed, trying to force himself to sleep, images from his nightmare flashed through his mind. The bright blinding lights of the stage, the creepy stares of the scouts, falling and falling and falling. Twisting in the bed, it felt as if his arms and legs were being bound and moved against his will. The more he tried to relax, the more terrified he became.

Opening his eyes, Haru stared at his friend sleeping peacefully across from him. Makoto was making little sounds in his sleep and seemed to be grabbing for something. Since elementary school, he hadn’t changed. It made Haru’s heart feel light.

Silently, almost ashamed, Haru crept out of his bed and across the small distance between him and Makoto. Carefully, he lifted the sheets on Makoto’s bed and slid under them. Makoto shifted and moaned, his right arm reaching out and grabbing Haru unexpectedly. For a moment, Haru thought Makoto had awoken. But when a soft sigh of contentment that sounded suspiciously like his name left Makoto’s lips and he burrowed further into his blankets, Haru knew he was safe.

Pressing his back to Makoto’s chest, wrapped in Makoto’s arms, Haru felt the residual anxiety and fear seep from his body. His eyes wouldn’t stay open any longer and his body melted into the warmth radiating from his friend. Feeling protected and loved, Haru let his mind relax and sleep overtake him.

Within minutes, he was deep in a dreamless sleep, clutching Makoto’s arm desperately.

+++

The walk back to the hotel was tense and uncomfortable. Makoto stayed near the back of the group and carefully watched everyone. Haru was sullen and withdrawn; a nervous energy rolled off of him and it made Makoto anxious. Rei seemed to be lost in his own world, body rigid as he kept his eyes straight ahead, painfully clear he was forcing himself not to look at Haru. Even Nagisa was subdued as they filled the elevator, waiting in strained silence for their floor.

Ama-sensei and Gou were the first to exit, leaving with a short reminder to get a good night’s sleep and be on time. Their floor was next. Rei and Nagisa quietly left the elevator with strained smiles and good nights as they parted from him and Haru and headed for their own room. As they stood in the empty hallway, Makoto studied Haru’s face and wondered.

_“What dream? What future? I don’t have those things!”_

After a minute, Haru turned and walked towards their room. Hesitantly, Makoto followed.

_“Don’t worry. I’ll still swim the relay with you.”_

The door clicked closed and suddenly they were alone, cut off from the rest of the world. Anxious, Makoto entered the bathroom and closed the door, giving himself a moment away from Haru. The water sounded loud, echoing in the small room as he turned the faucet on. Cold water dripped down his neck as he washed his face, making him shiver.

As captain, Makoto knew he couldn’t let Haru swim tomorrow. He wasn’t thinking straight; he was too emotional; something was wrong and he wasn’t talking about it. The right choice was to pull them from the event and hope Nagisa and Rei could make it again next year. After all their hard work, Makoto knew it would break their hearts.

As Haru’s best friend, Makoto knew he couldn’t let Haru _not_ swim tomorrow. The relay was so important to all of them; their one shot and proving how far they had come as a team. And to pull them out because of Haru would devastate him, perhaps worse than the race with Rin all those years ago. But would Haru be able to swim freely? Would he suffer the same crisis he did today? Would he buckle under the pressure and maybe even lose the race for them?

Makoto knew how much the relay meant to everyone and it frustrated him so much to be the one to make the decision. Neither option was fair to any of them.

Taking a deep breath, Makoto left the bathroom, determined to talk to Haru.

Standing in the middle of the room, Haru was staring at his hands as he flexed them. For the first time in months, Makoto took a close look at his best friend. He watched the way Haru clenched his fists, the muscles in his arms bunching and releasing. He watched the way Haru’s hair fell across his face, shielding his eyes from view. When had Haru’s hair grown so long? He watched the rise and fall of Haru’s shoulders as he breathed.

Forcing himself out of his reverie, Makoto slowly walked towards Haru. He reached out to grab Haru’s arm but stopped himself at the last moment.

“Haru?” He asked softly, ducking his head slightly to glimpse Haru’s eyes. Startled, Haru’s head jerked up and he stared wide-eyed at Makoto.

Makoto’s breath caught in his throat as he gazed into Haru’s eyes for the first time in what felt like months. Laid bare before him, Makoto could see how scared Haru was.  The fear and anxiety and frustration that he must have been feeling the last few months were reflected clearly. Makoto could read Haru’s thoughts with amazing clarity. _Why am I always forced to be something I don’t want to be?_

Heart-broken, Makoto reached out and wrapped his arms around Haru, running his fingers gently through Haru’s hair. Without a word, he simply held his friend, trying to shield him from the rest of the world. He felt Haru tense against him and tightened his hold, unwilling to let him go.

“It’s okay.” Makoto whispered, more to himself than Haru. But when Haru jerked against him, Makoto held him tighter. “It’s okay, Haru. I’m here.”

Nonsense tumbled from his lips as he stroked Haru’s hair and back, wanting nothing more than to take all his pain away. Haru tried to push away from him and Makoto could feel his body trembling. But he didn’t let go.

“Haru, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Slowly, the energy seemed to drain from Haru. His head pressed against Makoto’s chest as his hands grabbed and pulled at Makoto’s shirt. Haru released a deep, shuddering sigh and collapsed into Makoto’s arms. There were no tears; there were no sobs. Silently, Makoto held Haru as he released his frustration and anger, holding him close and refusing to let go.

“I’ll always be here, Haru. It’s going to be okay.”


End file.
